Operation Home Improvement
A * denotes a name I can’t remember! I can probably look back through people I’ve played with on steam to find the actual name
… The next day Jeb and I log in and descend from our hideout, running due east with the intention of hitting Resouce Valley and the nearest Radtown to collect some more gubbins. At the very next outcrop of rocks we find five small shelters with metal doors on. After all the effort to get here it took less than a day for other survivors to encroach on our base.
We watch for a while and there is no activity, so we decide to skirt the northern side of the hill to hopefully avoid running into anyone and continue on our way to Resource Valley. We get there and again checkout the buildings we looted yesterday to see if there is anything new worth robbing. The doors I made for the cube house are still in place, nobody has been back here. We run back to the last house we robbed. There are a few more crates lying around outside near our climbing shelter. I jump up and check the inside of the still roofless house. The ramp I built to help us escape was gone, so someone had been here. But there are no bodies or sleeping bags, so either it wasn’t the home owners or they’ve learned a lesson and chosen to hide their spawns and bodies somewhere else.
We run a little further south to collect the rest of the wood and rock piles lying around. By this point I’m pretty full of gubbins. I decide to head back and drop off what I’ve collected, while Jeb continues on by himself to Radtown. I run back north along Resource Valley, cutting east just past the last outcrop of rocks, almost immediately on rounding the corner I get hit by gunfire. I start strafing and try to turn to see where it’s coming from, but it’s too late and I sit staring at the death screen. “You were killed by Orixin*”. I spawn naked again back at my sleeping bag. I’m slightly annoyed at having lost all the good gear I’d purloined the previous day, but hey ho, easy come, easy go.
I start making some basic clothes from the cloth we collected, and watching the chat I see Orixin speaking with Deadlygamer… the chap who murdered Calum last night. By this time Jeb has been to Radtown and is making his way home, on high alert given my recent death. As he gets close to our base he notices activity at the metal doored shelters. He sneaks closer to see and, just our luck, our new neighbours are Deadlygamer and Orixin. Given there are five shelters it is safe to assume they have friends too. We spend the rest of the evening making runs back and forth raiding Radtown and watching our asses.
The next evening we log in to find a rather large house to the north of the five shelters, and more importantly directly in the path we’d been taking to get back to Resouce Valley. So now we had to start descending the eastern face of our hill, away from where we could be seen, and run even further north before heading west to “civilisation”. The idea being, one, they wouldn’t see us, and two, if they did see us we weren’t running straight home and therefore the would guess where we were hiding out.
After a few runs to Resource Valley I’m feeling mischievous. I run up to the house, and hear doors opening and closing, somebody is home. They hear my footsteps and I hear the increased activity as they make for the door to get me, I run and stand right at the door, as soon as one of them opens it I rush inside sprinting blindly into any room I can reach. Deadlygamer starts shooting at my with a pistol while I comically strafe left and right. I get hit once in five shots and he starts screaming about me being a hacker. I laugh. His friends finally get their shit together and all of them open fire at once. I take the Murder Express back to the top of the hill.
The next day at work, I’m relaying my adventures to Chris, we decide it would be hilarious to build an extra doorway in front of Deadlygamer’s door, trapping him and his friends inside their house. (In Rust a door can only be opened by the person who built it).
We log in as soon as we get home from work. I grab all the wood from our chest. I start building the walls, foundation , pillars, ceiling and doorway. Chris grabs the metal fragments and starts making a door. They’ll need C4 to get out of their house now. As soon as the crafting is complete we run down the hill and circle in on the house, keeping a lookout for activity.
Nobody is around, so we run up to the door and I stick down the foundation in front of it. Next the pillars, then the walls, the ceiling, and finally the doors frame I jump out and Chris moves in to install the door… I hear footsteps… the door is in place and we both start laughing, I turn round and immediately get shotgunned in the face, one of them just arrived home and is not a happy camper. My death is immediately followed by Chris spawning naked beside me.
Then the fun starts.
The chap at the house has informed Deadlygamer of our mischief, and immediately chat lights up with incandescent rage.
“Ennia.. Whhhy?” Before I can reply, he continues “how did you find our house? There is no way you found our house! Hacker! You are hacking!”
I ask him “Do you like our home improvement service?”
A torrent of abuse follows, and follows, …and follows.
Chris and I run from our spawn points back down to the house! almost immediately in getting there we both get shotgunned again. We repeat the process a few times.
“Hackers! How can you keep getting here so fast”, the thought we have sleeping bags near by doesn’t enter his head.
I joke some more about building renovations to more abuse, before adding “All joking aside though, I am going to have to invoice you for the work”
At this point Chris needs to log. So we both quit out and I go make dinner. I log back in half an hour later to find Deadlygamer still hammering chat with his rage. Making threats against my life and my family. I laugh, text Chris and log out again.
A couple of hours pass and I log back in, along with Jeb. Jeb types something about our handy work in chat and immediately Deadlygamer starts ranting again. This time calling for a server admin to ban me for hacking and/or meta-gaming. Like rubbing a genie’s lamp, and admin appears. He says “I could ban him if I want” flexing his nerdy ego. But falls silent after that, and since I’m still logged in a assume no ban is coming.
Jeb and I continue annoying them by running around their house, being chased, dropping spike walls in their paths before ultimately succumbing to shotgun fire, respawning and repeating the process.
Deadlygamer informs me he will “eat my sons”. I don’t have any sons. I enquire what condiment he intends to use as “my kids don’t like mustard”. He replies that he “will fart on them”. I ask him for clarification if he intends to season my sons with farts before eating them. “I doooooon’t care!!!!”
I get a few more threats that I will be killed, and that he will cut off my mothers hand before shoving it up his own ass. Clearly someone has missed his nap time today.
Jeb and I run to the house a few more times to be killed. On the last run there is nobody around. Either they’re logged or got bored and run off.
At that point a server admin broadcasts a message saying the server will be wiped and reset, the effect is like our door shenanigans times a billion. Nerds who don’t understand the nature of a game in alpha vent their impotent fury and cry delicious tears in the chat window.
With our source of lolz exhausted and no point in continuing to gather resources Jeb and I call it a night.